As much as it is hurting me...I believe...I have no choice but to let go.. I am so tired of the freaking games. I am sick and tired of the gaslighting. I am sick and tired of the disrespect. I am sick and tired of the mentality it is OK to use my love against me/ for their advantage. I already feel broken on so many other levels. I am tired of allowing myself to suffer just to "help" and devote myself to someone who does NOT appreciate or reciprocate the same love for me. I have allowed myself to be abused for way to long. And YES.. I ALLOWED IT. I should have put my foot down/ set boundaries a long, long time ago. It has gone on this long because of MY choices. I don't even feel anything at the moment. I know, either within a few hours or a day/ or two..it will hit me hard. And I'll feel panicky and afraid.. I will HAVE to ffight thru it. I will HAVE to make myself to NOT break and beg again. I NEED TO LOVE MYSELF FOR ONCE.
Please Universe...be by my side when it hits....Help me be strong for ME!!!
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